Forgive Me Father... For I had sex with somebody else

Sex is just sex.
Or isn't it???

Now lets spill the beans. I had sex with someone I used to go out with, and yes, the operative word is "used to", so meaning he is not my current partner. Bad?! I know. But honestly speaking, I still like him. And that is the reason why I agreed to go with him and do it.

I never thought that we'll get to be in touch again after all this time. It was unexpected. And it felt awkward in a way because the way we parted ways before wasn't the best kind of letting go two people dating would do. One was left hurt badly and other one left with the burden of guilt. Apparently, it was I who was the one left badly hurt.

Maybe you are asking why, why did I still agree to have sex with him even if he had hurt me before? My answer to that is because I still like him and I thought... IT'S JUST SEX! and it is with someone I like.

I'm no pervert. I don't have sex with whoever comes my way. I'm not easy! Come'on! I still have decency and self-respect. It's just that, something in me made me want to do it. And yes, I did felt excited and I didn't even think twice to agree to his invitation.

I know what I did is wrong, knowing the fact that there I am committed with somebody else, but I can't help it. I so like this person even before I met this person I am going steady with. And I thought that this may be a chance for me see if I still feel intensely in to this other guy.

So did I enjoy it? Did I feel that I am still into this other guy?

Enjoy? Not quite. Into this other guy? I don't think so.

Again, let me repeat. Now, its just sex. No strings attached. No emotions included. So I guess that is why I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would.... because there is no emotion anymore. Its just plain sex. And that's just it.

Actually, I enjoyed the conversation we had more than the sex itself. Its been awhile since we last met up and talked, and I guess this gave me/him the chance to clear things up, which we quite did during the conversation that we had. Somehow it felt good hearing him answer questions that have been left unanswered all this time. It was a closure of the past that we had.

I don't know if what we did opened a new kind of relationship for us, but I don't think it did. Maybe as fuck buddies. I seriously don't know. But I am open for it. I like him and in a way he's good in bed.

Of course, the fact that I am in a commitment right now is still on my mind. And that is still my priority. What I am doing is totally wrong. But my partner still goes first. I think I am just doing just to have fun. A kind of fun that I know will hurt my partner if he finds out. So zip your lips guys!

I love my partner. I really do.
But now, I think I just want to have some fun for myself.

So... FORGIVE ME FATHER... FOR I HAD SEX WITH SOMEBODY ELSE (and I think it will happen again.)


Credits:
Picture (Unfaithful by ninoygadink)